The most unexpected relationships last the longest.
Archive for June 2012
So here I am sitting in my room trying to do everything so that I can keep my mind off that research paper I still have to revise and is due someday next week. Today I decided I'd just stay indoors and listen to really sentimental music because the rain is pouring outside and I will listen to all these sad songs even though sad is not really the word to describe how I feel right now. Today I am a very very happy lemon drowning in sad songs that really don't suit me.
I was only there when it was convenient for you. There were days when I hated you, and there were days when I was so fucking head over heels, too. It does not matter, does it?
Baka we still want each other. Baka we're just taking a long time figuring it all out.
I swear, I'm trying so fucking hard to move on. Really. I feel like okay na ko minsan, kaso onting marinig ko lang na song, onting pagpicture lang ng putangina mong mukha, ewan. Gusto kong may maramdaman ulit eh.
Maybe I'll just have to wait for that piercing feeling in my chest to fade and go away-- too busy living life to notice. Hurry up, time. Heal me.
Siguro kaya 'di ako maka-get over kasi we are unfinished business. Siguro may hinihintay 'tong putanginang pusong ito na katapusan na hindi naman darating.
Ang problema sa'yo, 'pag gusto na ulit kita, you'll start liking someone else. Then I try getting over you. Once I've moved on, you come back, I fall again. I hate liking you so much.
Siguro it's that fucking slim chance na maybe someday we'll end up together, kaya ang lakas ng kapit ko. That or pinaglihi ako sa tuko. Kbye ang corny.
I want to talk to you and I want to be with you. Kaso feeling ko part lang ako ng options mo. Ano ka, girl collector? Fuck you. I had to distance myself tuloy. I hate not talking to you.
Ewan. I can't always pretend that I'm fine with you sweepin other girls off their feet. I can't always lie to my friends about how I really feel. I can't always contain this fucking tears-- baka magka-tear duct infection ako. I can't always stop myself from sending you text messages just to actually fucking say one last fucking good putanginang bye. Or I love you.
Sometimes I just can't take it anymore.
You're one fucking hell of a liar. Ang galing mo talaga with words! Putangina. I'm special to you, you said.
Kung 'di talaga ko, sabihin mo sakin nang harapan. Putangina masyado na nating pinapatagal 'to. Dali na. Para makaalis na 'ko.
Pano kaya sa next nating pagkikita? Matatalo nanaman ba ko? Siguro sasabihin ko nalang na wala na talaga. Yessir, I'd lie. I wouldn't let you know that I'm still so fucking into you and that I'm so fucking confused.
Sa tagal nang nagrerecur ng fling na 'to, I might get too scared to fucking love again. I've already lost so much.
I've been lied to. I've had my hopes up. I've trusted you've changed. Pero putangina, I still haven't learned. I really should move the fuck on with my life.
Pero fuck. Ewan ko pa rin.
Don't give up on me, please.
Pero I have to fucking move on na eh. That's what I told my friends I'd do.
Tangina ang gulo.
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