Officially panext.


I may have turned 18 yesterday, but I kind of find it sad. It's not that I don't want to be entitled to adult crap, it's just that I'm not ready yet. I have realized that I haven't achieved anything yet, when I was young. Damn that sounded weird. Anyway. I think that I wasn't able to do so many things during my, er, youth. I'm a fucking adult now, pero wala eh.

I have never held any position in any student government. I wasn't able to become a better artist, well, if ever I can be considered as one. I know very little when it comes to kitchen crap. I don't even know how to drive a car!

Therefore, I do not deserve to be eighteen.

Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't give too much attention to it. So I went on with my daily activiteis as if it is just some normal day. I changed my birthdate on Facebook so that people can't pretend to be real life friends with me by pretending to know my birthday when in fact Facebook was the one who kept reminding people. Shitty system. I hope people won't treat Facebook as the new "real world".

Yesterday morning, as I was preparing to go to school, Yna came over. She handed to me what seems to be a gift from her, Ivy and Clarence. What's inside the box? Well, the content was pretty wholesome. I was presented a pair of baby pink, partly-lace underwear. A bra and a panty. Aren't they just sweet.

Off to school I went. Some people who are kinda close to me started singing that cliche birthday jingle. I would wanta punch them in the jaw to shut them up, but society declares that you must be grateful to people who actually knows that today is your birthday. You have to thank them. Do not hurt them in any manner. Et cetera, et cetera.

I conformed. Society is a bitch.

I went to class and was welcomed by the midterm exam which I wasn't able to fucking prepare for. I was so eager to go home to Rizal na since I was to meet up with my friends. I couldn't concentrate. So fuck that shit bahala na si Batman.

Tapos umuwi na ko.

Four hours later, Charlene came. I don't already know how to entertain guests. Plus, she's not just a guest, she's one of the freaks closest to me. I don't know. Feeling ko I've turned into this voiceless monster that cannot scare anyone anymore. Dammit. So right. She gave me a shirt for my birthday. This shirt has such a wholesome concept. "Treesome" is written across it.

Then came Mocs and Helen. Mocs gave me a bouquet of 18 roses. Ain't she just sweet. Actually, she's the first person to ever give me a bouquet. Ain't this life sad. I don't want to label myself "forever alone" because I think that it's too cliche. Is it not? Is it not, when people who are actually attractive and are not actually alone and have actually at least one karelasyon are using it to label themselves? Fuck that shit. 'Di ko na tuloy ma-distinguish kung sino rin ang mga totoong forever alone kagaya ko. kdot

Let's get back to my little celebration. Mocs handed me a box. When people are handed boxes, is it not that they shake the box on instinct? I'm just a normal human. So I did. Moc's and Helen's jaws dropped. Pagbukas ko, there were two dwarf hamsters pala inside. I didn't feel guilty, though. Mild lang naman pagka-shake ko eh. Hihi.

Tapos Mocs also brought something to stuff me with. She went to the kitchen to set the choco mousse up. There were multi-colored candles sticked into it greeting me a happy birthday. Candles are nice, aren't they? So don't ever friendzone them. Shit corny.

Tapos Mocs also gave me a Team Manila shirt. Lately, I have been obsessing over their products. They promote kasi the Philippine culture. I just feel unique when I wear those kinds of shit. Wala. Gaaaay.

Tapos we went to the kitchen to eat. Awkward silences enter as commercials so medyo nakaka-disappoint lang. Back when we were in high school, we were all these madaldal people-- 'di nauubusan ng topic kahit whole day na nga magkasama. And now, drumroll please, madaming pwedeng makwento kasi we barely see each other tapos ganun yung atmosphere? Silent? What ever happened to the world. I hate college. I don't want everything I hold dear to just become memories.

Gaaaay. Whatever I still mean it.

When the day is almost ever, well, Mocs pulled out a sky lantern! Damn that got me excited. Hihi. Ang gara kasi. Feeling ko ang bongga bongga talaga ng birthday ko just because of that lantern.

So after holding this pictorial (which we might probably be doing everytime somebody celebrates his/her birthday), we went outside.

Ay 'di pala muna. We waited muna pala for Mocs and her sister to finish retouching. Kikay! Lol. Moving on. We went outside, lit the fire-catching square thingy, made our wishes, then off goes the floating light.

I just hope candle wishes and sky lantern dreams do really come true. Otherwise made-delay na talaga ko ng sobra in UP tapos magiging forever alone pa for real.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 4 and is filed under ,,,,,. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

One Response to “Officially panext.”

  1. You are growing up never growing old! You are still young. Chini-Chang! (Comment 9 mos. late. And yes, I'm lillybit stalking you right now. Haha. :D)


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