I’m turning a year older in a few days and frankly i’ve lost count of how old i really am
I’m not even exaggerating. I'm beginning to think it'll start not to matter anymore. I’m free writing and i really hadn’t done this in a while. My keyboard is about to give up on me and my screen and the whole of my laptop is giving up on me too and i'm mighty sure that at the end of all these wala nang matitira. I guess this is the point in which i just try to live or survive or get by each weird day that comes. Which is weird, because that’s what people have been trying to do all these years, right? Live life or something?
I don’t understand what i’m trying to put together here—i’m not even sure if i’m trying to put something together anymore. I’ve already gotten to a point where i just keep wondering what holds me back—why can others move forward? Howcome i can’t? Am i that incapable? I don’t want to think much about it—the fact that i’m going nowhere and i’m seeing everybody else moving forward with their lives.
Something must be wrong with me. Heck, i’ll claim it. Something is wrong with me. And the worst part is that i cant seem to move forward from whatever it is that is weighing me down. This sucks. And this was supposed to be a motivational load of crap.
And ironically i end up with this. Ugh i suck at this. This was supposed to be some pep talk to help myself get my shit together.
What the flying fuck.
