Day 1

Since my mum and my aunts were not the man-with-a-plan kind of folks, we went island hopping. It was not the Alaminos-Hundred-Islands-island-hopping sort of island hopping (where people actually visit a bunch of real islands with some sort of jazz unique only to each of those islands)—it was a kind of island hopping where the men who led the tour sucked at being men who lead tours because i think that they do not know what they were doing and that they do not know the islands at all (if there even were other islands to go island hopping on ugh)

Basta the tour sucked

The tourmendudes brought us to this face of Boracay island (see it was not really an island hopping trip it was just a let’s-bring-these-people-to another-side-of-the-island trip) WHERE MY SISTER AND I BUILT OUR FIRST PRETTY-ASS SANDCASTLE!!! I’m not saying that this was the first time we built a sandcastle i was just saying that this was the first time we built a really pretty-ass one

But then of course the island hopping trip (or whatever the fuck it is) had to end and we had to leave our pretty-ass princess of the sandcastle kingdom pretty sandcastle in the cold. We got back to Puka beach where Jill and i built our second pretty-ass sandcastle and i really think that we’d really be really good sandcastle builders

Day 2

On our second day, we went to that part of Boracay that’s always packed with humans and human offspring. Tourists would usually submerge themselves in the local culture, so we decided that we’d have a burrito at Army Navy. Oha so Bora

To blend in with the crowd i wore a bikini top underneath my shirt that day but none of the people i was with dared going for a swim because of all those algae. Also, i wasn’t able to actually blend in with the crowd kasi insert deep-fried curse words here oh my god where did all those flat bellies come from ? ? ! ? Life

Kuya Ivan (a pinsan) also went on a trip to Bora that time (pero with his friends naman) so we decided to meet up with him and i decided that he looked and acted and sounded so very freakin similar to one of my college buddies and that may by the reason why i have a super little crush on this certain college buddy yihee intriga moving on. Btw my cousin commented on how fast i am growing up ? ? ! ? What the fuck kuya Ivan i’m a grown up nao okay

Day 3

First thing we did on our third day WAS TO GO ON A BUGGY RIDE!!! and put my driving skills to test. Before carrying out this shit we were instructed to wear hankies to cover our mouths and noses. My folks said it was to keep dust from entering our cavities. The buggy guide dudes said it was to prevent us from inhaling the essence of petroleum. I say it was to keep us from drawing in the garbage stench covering the track because the track coiled around urban poor shanties. The hankies however couldn’t stop the stink from entering our souls and that sucked. Other things that sucked about the buggy ride included: Fucked up safety measures, fucked up prices (one buggy ride costs 12 hundred pesos? Really?), fucked up buggy guide dudes (who, i think, must be replaced by road signs instead for maximum fun), and fucked up ATV/buggy route kasi oh my god sabi the ride will last for almost an pero wala pang 30 minutes naikot na namin yung route

WE ALSO GOT TO CHECK OUT THE HOTEL'S VERY OWN PUNTA BUNGA BEACH!!! It was the best beach i’ve ever been on since our Kalibo touchdown—the waters were super clear (yet saltier than those from other Bora beaches but i think that’s okay), there was minimal algae, and there only were two humans in sight yay no people! Also, there were crabs crawling about the place and although that’s kind of creepy i still find it cute. By this time i think i finally have gotten over my fear of sea plants because you see sea plants are not plants at all they are sea monsters who’ll gobble people feet up— i think people are goin to side with me on this because really, who won’t be freaked the fuck out when stepping on those sharp fang leaves of theirs huh?

Tapos we decided that we’d go back to Station 1 to have our SECOND pizza session for the day and watch the firedancers dance with fire!!! There was this certain firedancer that freakin caught my eye—he has a super unf body and beautiful macho dancer moves ughhhh so fucking graceful panties are falling down  everywhere unfffff

Moving on

The only things we weren’t able to accomplish that night were our plans to try out that Jonah’s ice cream thingie kuya Ivan recommended, and our plans to buy souvenirs for those folks expecting something Bora on our return. We weren’t able to because i decided not to ask Mum to help me carry these out because she’s already tired by then and i know and we all know because that’s what she’s telling everyone. And yep, she’s telling everyone

 Day 4

We flew back to MLA

The end