Bighead


28 Octopus 2013 
| On being an egotistic douche 

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve always been bragging about things, and as much as I wanted to stop, I would find myself regretting time after time that I’ve not shut up 

It could be that I’m just feeling underappreciated for my effort 

Or, it could be that I’ve overrated my work, leading me to thinking that it deserves that much amount of regard when in the first place it does not 

I would like to believe though that this is more on my being overwhelmed with my recent participation in small-group discussions that are capable of affecting a pretty galactic portion of the grand scale of things, and that I’ve been meshed in such with a couple of them very important people. It is only on very rare occasions that I feel like I’m sort of an important character in this book, so to me it’s really really really fascinating to be involved in those kinds of things that I just couldn’t shut up about it. I really hope someday people will understand why the fuck I am like this 

And, finally, as much as I wanted to disregard this proposition for its shallowness, I shall also consider that this might be the product of my medyo-long-time confinement to my work desk, doing my best to deprive myself of the chance to engage in any activity that would establish any form of social connectivity, physical or digital, making me forget how to communicate with people without neglecting how many folks are self-centered and are more likely to not care about what I have to say 

Because that’s how I am recently. I tend to always have a mouthful of self-glorifying shit. Even my sister has noted it too. I bet Monica and Charlene and Kit have noticed it too and have prolly thought it best to overlook it thinking that my acting out is just a phase 

I’m positive that this is just a phase and that I’ll get round it soon 

I’m nevertheless sorry for not shutting up. Really, I am sorry 

Now how do I get this the fuck out of my system

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